Smh

I feel so dumb and pissed
I feel like everything was built on lies. Smh.
Never trust em. He tellin his boy he wit bitches but tellin me its a lie.

Hmmmm?

Ill be damned to let another dude come wit his bull shit and try to play me for a fool.

Unh unhb
See I got somethin for people like this.
For muthafuckas who be tryna deceive a bitch nd play a role on me.it is super coooo though.
It aint like I never been hurt before
I learned how to get over it.

&& I will again.
Boo yesterday once I read those emails ive checked out and
Chellie boom has checked in

what a nice day with me the mr nd liah. we had a great time at least i thought so. i can admit im not used to being home with my man being faithful and just tryna be a good woman. shit i know im not perfect but i love this man!

!!!!!!!!

Im screaming in my head because Im so fuckin sick and tired of being lied to!!!

The worst thing to to do is LIE!!

Theres nothing I cant stand more than a LIAR!!!!!!!!

You wanna hide the fact that your a manwhore too late....

You prove yourself wrong!! Every fuckin time!! When ypu coule just bereal then Id have no choice but to accept something but when you lie...


*sigh*

I feel hurt betrayed disappointed letdown and so fuckin lowwwwwwwww. I feel like dirt like a piece of shit. Because if I was anything more thAn that youd respect me. youd be honest with me but noooo

instead you choose to hurt me!!!!!

why????????

The sad shit is sittin here cryin like a dumb bitch and you gon be good..

but its ok when you leave im going to wrap my belt around my neck tie it to my closet bar and hold my legs up then go off the bin. Ill find a way bc i cant do this anymore. Fuck my life man

fml

fml
fml
fml
fml
fml
f wishing i could blow my brains out right now.....

mann

I feel betrayed, stupid, and just so many other emotions right now.

GoodNight.

....

He dont even know how Im hurting right now. Im sitting nextto him fighting these tears back. I know I aint wrong for this. I asked him right before I peeped the messages and he straight lied. Like damn fa real?? I just wanted him to admit it if he did and I wouldve got a little irritated nd pissed yea but right now I feel super disrespected he dont care about my feelings or he just ain lookin at how him lying affects me. A lie period to me is a lot more than it may be to other people. Ive been fed so many lies before and got hurt in the end and so when someone lies to me all it can do is hurt me.::: But I mean what can I do??? I feel like when I take some steps i end up getting knocked back down. But its my fault. Its me its bc of how I am. Im all fucked up I already know. I got the issues..... I just gotts learn to be good enough not just for him for myself....: fuck im such a stupid person.

bdhdhdhdhf

Im trying!!!

Im trying so hard not to be that bitch but I feel it seeping out of me.

Maybe thats just me.

??


Im just so sick & tired of being sick & tired.

yeaaa

Not good enough.

I wasnt then so why would I be now??

Just like you say if Im really the best like you say then why would you go to vegas with my bf get naked with her in a hot tub kiss her then deny me. Then you top it off by fucking another bitch. But guess what

Im the best.







Yea fuckin right........

Uhh yea

I take it back dudes always find a way to say something to piss you off. I hold back shit so it wont piss him off but i see what he on.

Valentine's Day

Happy V day to me! I been enjoying this day so far. Having a super fantastic time with mt Mr. and my kiddos. I love my familyyy. Im so happy to have them and next year Im going to show them all how much I love them.

I love watching our relationship grow and its blossoming into this beautiful flower. We got such amazing chemistry abd this fire that can never be put out. This man got me hooked like bait when ur fishing Im stuck and I cant get off. Boy he do some things to me. Aint never been pleased how he pleases me. He keeps me feeling like Im on cloud 9 and I cant come down. My boo boo you so sweet happy your mine I aint never gonn let you go. You my baby my mate partner and best friend. Most importantly your my lover and man. Cant wait to be your wife. I love you!

xoxox

oh ok....

keep lyin to me. I see what kind of relationship you wann have I peeped you boo. Im checkin you out. When I ask him why he ask a favor from his friend he gets all defensive then make up some bull. Like fa real I aint gonn go for this shit. Not gonna be with a liar again no no no... Arghhh

Then he say so you just go thru all my texts. Actually when I pressed the text message thing that text was open. Man I be feelin like Im just playin myself. I gotta start bein more observant and quit the b.s. before I put myself in the same predicament as before. Then Im really gonn be lookin like a fool. (Not like I dont already) All I can say is we gonn see.

LaVan dont end up like the rest of em.

Im going to try and handle this differently than I normally wouldve done in the past.

*sigh*

This was supposed to be a good sunday.

Hahahaha

Hes laughing.

He thinks Im a joke.

Whoop whoopin..

Aiight its coo.

I got you babyyy

xoxo

:(

Then today he said I treat him like shit. This hurt my feelings because I try so hard yo treat him the best that I felt like my best wasnt shit for him... Its so hard to keep my mouth shut when things are bugging me sooo bad. I dont want to argue though because I dont wanna hear lies And I dont want to argue anymore. Im tired of us arguing and even tho this shits buggin ms like crazy Ill bite my tongue to keep us bein coooo.

Another thing is when the hell are you going to file for the divorce? I guess he dont take it seriously when I say Ill leave him OR He just dont care. We gonn see though because the time is running out. Its been 4 months now. Wow. When do I ever just let someone say they gonn do somethin n just not and be ok? Never. I do love you but I cant be wigh someone who cant do what they say. Im waiting though... for now. But times almost up...

Hmmmm

He knows I would not him to work in a bar we been thru this before.

More than once.

But you know what I see he dont care b/c he bookmarks an opening to work where???

hmmm...

A BAR!

Im tryin not to let my insecurities get to me but he knows why I wouldnt want him to work in a bar yet I see he still does want to. If he wants to be in the nightlife meetin bitches. Smh. Fine. Im just gonna let him do what he wang because I cant stop him anyway.Im just gonna keep mh mouth shut again. Ill live. Time to put my smile back on. Bye

....

he lied to me....

Im being cool though...

Either way this shit is gonna bug me but if he told the truth I wouldve felt a lil better....

If that video was sooo long ago supposedly ot wouldve been right next to the other pictures he took in vegas not further down next to the video of him and his boys before they left.

*sigh* soo
thats the chick he was with....

Why did you lie to me la van??

I thought we was better than that.
How am I supposed to trust you if you just lie to me?

Please dont think Im dumb.

I can put two and two together youtook the video after u took the pic of that chicken and before ya boys left. while we was talking.

You didnt wanna forget her.....

Im so disappointed. Im tired of bein let down.

Im not gonna show you whats on my mind because then you just keep trying to cover up with lies. Which pisses me off that you would continue to just lie and its a slap in my face everytime.

But Im just going to bite my tongue....

Because I see I dont deserve that respect.

uhhhh

grrrrrrr

i am so fuckin angryyy!!!!!

Damn

Back in an ambulance its a bitch. I hate this. Its never ending. I dont want to be in ambulances anymore.

!!!!

I just want a regular peaceful life my boo, the babies, and myself..

It was so sad to see Liah scared. I did not want to leave my family...

Mommy misses you guys Ill be home soon!!

US

This is my beautiful family

So...

I guess Im not as good as a girlfriend I thought I was....



*sigh*

The Mr.

*sigh*

Whats different?

Because its not the same now...

You dont seem to want me like before.
I can only blame myself.

Its either something I did or something about me.

You dont have to lie I know the problem is me.
Ill figure out whats wrong.

I just hope its fixable...



Ily.....

<3

????

I cant believe he dont want to let me go after everything. I need my mind to be at ease and its not going tl be if i dont see with my own two eyes!!! grrr this is soooo frustrating!!! He just dont want me to go anywhere...

I cant get mad at him for doing his job its just frustrating my mind is not at ease at all,

My boys!

Gotta love my boys <3

wow

i cant believe how much of a foooool i been. could he have known this whole time? while im crying and here hurtin?? i dont know what to fuckin believe im so pissed and confused right now. I been through so much I aint ask for none of this shit!!!!! Im so hurt he been lyin to me this whole time
i
am
a
fool
!!!!

fml

i knew it

I can tell Im not stupid. I said things to him when I was angry. Today he finally tells me how he feels...

I disgust him.

I always told him he didnt look at me the same. I can tell the difference.

Im hurt.
Im crushed....
I havent even done shit to him today!!
But earlier he starts arguing with me bringing up things when he was in the wrong but the funny thing is I dot say shit. Then he starts arguing with me.

Now I disgust him....

*sigh*
If only he knew how much those words just hurt me....

mad

my man got bitches callin him... smh!!

im pissed

im trying to calm down but its so

HARD!!!!

*sigh*

im trying to believe him!!! im trying so hard!!!!!!



grrrrrrrrr

yes!!!

Bringing my little man home!! Im so happy he's not at 100% but he will be soon!!!

Baby boy

It should be me!!

NOT HIM!!!!!

My light

isnt here with me so everything seems so dark. It hurts me so much to know hes not well or in pain. This was my choice which dont seem to fair!!!! Why did I have to make this decision out of all people!? I dont know what Id do id I lost him. I need his smile and kisses.... God why does my son have to go through what he does??? I dont think I will ever get over this. Ever since hes been born and had to go thru so much and Ive been there with him on this ride. It has changed me so much as a person. I lost all my faith and everything to me will end up bad because if my son an innocent baby has tp live a life like that then what do i have to look forward to? Always be on his ass to make sure hes fine. All he did was vomit and whine a little. If I wouldve waited any longer he couldve died. What if I dont notice next time? Will it cost him his life? Does he even really have one outside of the hospital??? When will he get his break?? My son who can make anyone happy, you have a bad day and all he needs to do is smile at you and it warms your heart. Ilove him and I miss him. :......(

My brown shuga

Introducing my honey. I know hes super sexy and all MINE. Im not into sharing or females looking at whats mine so its in your best interest if you keep your eyes, words, and most importantly hands to yourself!! Or else!!!!!

Anyways.

My boo is my perfect match we're so much alike yet opposite at the same time. I can truly say he makes me happy. He not like the rest. Hes my coop-a-rachi, and he should know how I feel about him! I dont even have enough words to say how I feel about this man. Everything with him just feels so right and since I know how great it feels to be with him I dont want to lose it!! And I will do anything I can to keep my partner because hes that and so much more. *sigh* I just love him!!!!

Harmony

We fit together so perfectly. I love how compatible we are. Your fingers belong in the spaces between mine. I love him so much. He got me feeling like I never have before. Still give me the butterflies and keep a smile on my face.
I love my boo because I know he wants the best for me. I want the best for him too. My baby keeps me wanting to please him; cook, clean, and whatever it takes to keep him satisfied.
Thank God I finally found my king!!!

:)

Skipped Class.

Its alright though. I need to cook my baby a delcious dinner because he never ceases to amaze me!!! :) Im proud of my man. I love him to death.... Muahhh

My Munchkins

I love my kids. They are my heart. I know I may not always show it becauss part of being a parent is discipline but I know it will pay off in the end. My son is my light without him I'm blind.

Ms. ChellieBoomBoom

Love this

Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness
-Oliver Wendall Holmes

This is so true!! Without love there is no happiness. My joy comes from the ones I love!!!

When all else fails...

Go get high!!!



Admit it you know it works!!!!!

He makes me...

:)

My Boo

My Princess

Saturday's Menu

Breakfast

Chorizo && egg sandiwich on french bread.

Lunch

Leftover pork && chicken tacos with pico de gallo && corn tortillas

Din-Din

hmmmmmmmmm???

Unlucky

I seem to have the worst luck. There's always something bad happening to me!!! Grrrr it frustrates me. Im not trying to be like woe is me but damn can I get a break?? Im scared of what's going to be the next bad thing that happens to me.

Now with this next b.s. with this loser. Ughh it really does piss me off. I feel frickin violated. Im mad that I would evenet myself come across someone like that. Plus if I hadn't been trying to prove the stupidest point ever I wouldn't even be in this predicament. So of course who do I blame??
Me.
I mean who else is there to blame? I know better. I'm super disappointed in myself. I should've never put myself into that type of situation. Whats funny is trying to hurt someone else only ended up hurting myself!! Gee whizzzz!!! Im just going to try to keep as positive as I can be and just keep focused on my goal. && That goal is to better myself and especially not let ANYONE take advantage of me!! Wish me luck!

YOU

Everything I want && need.
In my dreams.
Brown suga,
So sweet.
One of a kind.
Sunshine on a cloudy day,
The answer to my prayers.
Cant live without.
Stays on my mind,
&& I just cant get enough of....

...

Live. Laugh. Love.

He wanna taste the rainbow

Its like skittles he ready to taste the rainbow.
He like every color and flavor.

Whats wrong with that??

Hmm maybe I dont want someone who likes the whole bag.
He dont discriminate he says.

Well maybe I want someone picky like me.

I guess I gotta get over the fact my man likes the flavors of the rainbow.

My Prince

Trust

trust

Why is it crossed out?
It's the only thing that seems to be missing in my relationships. They say without trust there's nothing.
I been thinking about this...
I feel like I have everything. I just need to trust that things will get better. The truth is I don't even trust myself 100%. I really wish I could. It's so much easier said then done. I just keep banging my head everyday hoping that it will just magically kick in. Well we all know thats not gping to happen.
The one thing or should I say very special thing that gives me hope is love. Taking that risk and just putting everything on the line and little by little I feel myself wanting to trust and now trying to trust. Thats a big difference. I hope slow but steady wins the race.

Yum!!!

Ingredients
3 tablespoons butter, melted
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 cup milk
1 cup white sugar
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1 cup boiling water
3 1/2 cups fresh cherries, pitted


Mix 3/4 cup sugar, butter or margarine, flour, salt, baking powder, and milk together. Place cherries in the bottom of a 9 inch square pan. Spread dough over cherries.
In a small bowl, combine 1 cup sugar and cornstarch. Stir in boiling water. Pour mixture over the dough.
Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 45 minutes. Serve warm.


3/4 cup white sugar

King && Queen

Mine!!!!

Quality Time

Im always like an open door welcoming you in. Then you walk into my arms.
Then everything feels perfect.
When you look into my eyes I feel the love pour into me. Im just there loving it and enjoying it. I soak it all in. The truth is...
I need it.
I need your love, your hugs, your kisses, your laughter, your smiles, your touch. When we make contact I feel a fire in me burning from head to toe. && you know my baby knows how to curl my toes.
I love him.
Hes my one and only and I'm not sharing him!!!
Mine! Mine! Mine!!!!
<3