My light

isnt here with me so everything seems so dark. It hurts me so much to know hes not well or in pain. This was my choice which dont seem to fair!!!! Why did I have to make this decision out of all people!? I dont know what Id do id I lost him. I need his smile and kisses.... God why does my son have to go through what he does??? I dont think I will ever get over this. Ever since hes been born and had to go thru so much and Ive been there with him on this ride. It has changed me so much as a person. I lost all my faith and everything to me will end up bad because if my son an innocent baby has tp live a life like that then what do i have to look forward to? Always be on his ass to make sure hes fine. All he did was vomit and whine a little. If I wouldve waited any longer he couldve died. What if I dont notice next time? Will it cost him his life? Does he even really have one outside of the hospital??? When will he get his break?? My son who can make anyone happy, you have a bad day and all he needs to do is smile at you and it warms your heart. Ilove him and I miss him. :......(